Dying from exhaustion (?)

If you're wondering what I've been up to recently, here's a post filled with pics of it. Not a very bold or interesting holiday I lead. Honestly, sometimes I've been soooo mentally exhausted I just collapse on my bed at home thinking about stuff. Most of my posts here have been very fashion-orientated but I wish to keep this post more personal. More about what I do and myself. I've been rushing to dressmaking classes almost everyday and I spend most of my hours in front of the sewing machine. I'm tired of sewing the same zipper all the time. Trying to sew it perfectly and then to remove it again. I hate it. 

At times like this, I always ask myself, "Am I worthy enough to be a stylist? Am I worthy enough to study Fashion Design?" And often I think I don't. I really want to give up at times because of the stress I get at class to sew my clothes well. I feel pressured to go for classes. It sucks because I want this so bad yet at the same time I'm so exhausted and tired from it. It makes me think twice if I even genuinely want this career path.

Of course after a certain time phase, I know how to tell myself to keep going because everything will eventually be alright. Things will get even worse when I get into design school and this is just a test to see if I'm determined enough to persevere and fight for the things I want. Sewing, to me, is a pain in the ass but I know I like it lol. Maybe not enough to sew and remove the same zippers from my skirts 10 times a day. But I know it's worth it in the end. 

Anyway, I finally finished my first and probably the last (at least for the next 2 years) tweed skirt!! It's a semi-circular skirt :-) I took a while to finish this one because I finally realized the pain of sewing tweed material. I will never ever and ever complain about the prices of Chanel's tweed stuff again because I experienced how difficult it is to sew tweed for a beginner like me. Maybe I'll find sewing tweed easy 10 years down the road after I get used to it, who knows hahahahahh. But well at least for now, it's crazy difficult.

Lately after that, I started on another skirt. An A-line one this time. It's much easier for me now since I bought fabric with a plain and pretty shade of red to sew with. I can see my chalk labels on it visibly and I don't have to worry about my thread getting stuck into the fabric, unlike my tweed skirt. Sewing zippers are still annoying for me though. Thank god I pulled through and got it right faster now lol. 

And now for my series of outfits throughout the month and so..........dun dun dun dun. *including one with my hand sewn tweed skirt hehe*

Top- Stylenanda
Skirt- Alexander Wang x H&M
Boots- Nine WestNecklace- COS

Shoes- Korea
Skirt- ME (hahahahah)

Shoes- Korea
Jeans- Isabel Marant x H&M

Shoes- Converse
Socks- Happy Socks
I've been working on some sketches and figure drawings for my Lasalle portfolio as well. Even though I still have 2 years left to work on it, I'm still extremely nervous and worried about the interview for getting into design school. Really crazy I know- I'm already trying out new stuff like writing trend reports for le portfolio hahahaha. My mom said I'm overthinking. Can't deny that though :P


I also made a trip down to COS to check their new arrivals out and to give myself a break. I reaaaaallly am in love with COS and how their stuff are so minimalist and 'clean'. Yet, they really bring out the shape of your body and look utterly good on you. I had to resist buying everything. I promised myself I'll only get something after I endure 2 months of intensive dressmaking classes. The schemes I come up with to motivate and push myself to my limits are horrible. Geez. However, I got myself a rainbow macaron when I was out to give myself some colour (not really I was just hungry) since I've been looking so grumpy since the holidays started...

Besides all of that, my Intermediate Korean lessons started already and I have stress trying to catch up with the new teacher. Totally not used to another new teacher teaching us since I had the same teacher throughout my Basic lessons :(. She's really nice though so that's fine. I'm not ready for school even though I only have a months' left of 'holiday' or more like hell and torture for me. But school's still the worst shit ever for me. I would do anything rather than going to school. Unless it's design school. I hope 2015 and 2016 pass by real quick. Even if it's going to be one painful of a ride, don't really mind if it swiftly passes.

Can't wait for 2 years to pass so I can enroll in my Fashion diploma course. At least that's something I hope and will enjoy. I realized that only when you enjoy doing what you like, you would then only sacrifice and invest time and effort into it. Just like how I refuse to give up with dressmaking although I seriously dread going for it at times. Whew. 

Enjoy your holiday, if you have one. If not, stay positive and happy! Enjoy what you do. It makes a difference.  :-) 



  1. Hello girl! I have been following you for quite a while now. Although you are younger than me, you're my inspiration and role model whom i can learn from. I have been following you for quite a long time. And if you don't mind, i was just wondering how did your acne cleared up so fast. Is there any products you used and what are they? Thank you so much for being such an inspiration all the time to me. I really hope you do reply to me as i am struggling with acne as well. Thank you!!

    1. Hi, thank you so much for the kind words! I've been using Avene products for the past year now! For acne, I suggest you use the TriAcnéal series from Avene. It really helped with my persisting and stubborn acne. I use Avene's moisturizers and sunblock as well daily. Avene is generally well-known for their thermal spring water but I find most of their products useful and good for my skin. I can't use most drugstore products and acne cream since I have sensitive skin but their products work well for me :) Their products are available at Guardian! I hope that helps you, let me know if their products work for you too.

  2. How much is the triacneal cream? Thank you for replying to me!

    1. Hi, I'm not too sure since I got it a while back probably few months ago now. You might want to check with the staff at Guardian, there's sometimes promotions. It should be about $20+ just for the cream, unless you buy the acne kit as a whole :) You're most welcome!

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Breathing fashion for 14 years now. I laugh off my mistakes and I am the unexpected. I have no forte. I am a forte.